Coffee? Coffee.

And I guess once you stopped doing what you love you start to feel like you're lost and pressure begins to build up inside and they just keep growing and growing until you feel you cannot bear it anymore.

And I know it's been a while since I wrote here and I know that none of you probably miss me waiting to see another writing, but I do miss blogging.

Physically I don't see anything changes dramatically. I see my schedules, my routines, and things, I don't see any dramatic changes. But mentally. That's another thing. Mentally I feel changed. More like challenged. And I don't really like being challenged. Now I have this sort of anxiety-like when I'm around a large group of people. Like seriously just thinking about it just now, I don't feel comfortable, I shivered, and I just like... ugh.

I don't really think I could explain this anxiety-like thing that I feel to you but honestly who cares well I do care but I shouldn't.

I want to paint my walls. I hate this color. And I hate the writings I put on it even MORE. Not really hate, more like dislike. I wrote these things when I was in a lost-like condition. They turn out... ew.

My friend wrote a book; have I told you this before? It's called Gravedancer. He published it indie-ly. Unfortunately. Oh em gee, that rhymey. Okay I forced the last one but what do you know.

It's not that I don't like or don't trust indie publishers, but here; anyone can write anything then throw it to the indie publisher if they have enough money then call it a book. Which is why I prefer books from major publishers. But oh well. The Gravedancer was the first book out of ten, if I'm not wrong. He promised not to overdo the series like what - ahem - Clare did but ten's still pretty much kinda many. But apparently the Gravedancer alone is only about 119 pages so I'm cool with that. I printed it and wrote pretty many notes on it. I planned to send it to him but I'll just wait for him to send me the REAL printed version of Gravedancer.

Well.

My room is a mess. My head is a maze. I finally watched the Maze Runner today. As a movie it was good. Like, the kind of good that makes you want to watch it again. But as a movie adaptation out of book; pretty disappointing. Many scenes were either cut or changed. I was hoping for it to be... merrier, is that what you call it? But it was quite... deserted. And if I wrote it wrong well I'm sorry I was too lazy to think I just typed it into Google.

What have you done Dilla you should be ashamed.

Well anyway, I've got plenty of things to do like my class project on drama. Not that kind of drama but the kind of drama you watch on, like, idk stages or something. The script haven't done yet and we're going to play it in November. We literally have got nothing done. Oh what a beautiful life this is.

Said with enthusiasm as big as dust particles.