Jadi kadang kalau aku keluar rumah dengan makeup orang-orang (and by this I mean my friends... or anyone else who's brave enough, really) berkomentar: Aneh.
Dan yeah, seleraku memang cukup "aneh".
While other people draw their eyebrows with eyebrow marker/pencil aku pakai lip liner warna merah untuk alisku (and I intend to do with other colour as well). Untuk bibirku, nah, aku pakai lipstik biasa kok. Dan warnanya merah. But I top it off with black eyeliner, creating an even darker red.
And don't get me started with my eyes.
Truth is, bagiku makeup bukan untuk menutupi kekurangan ataupun jerawat (some people do, and they are allowed to do so), tapi sebagai bahan percobaan. Lex said better, she said, "I use my face as a canvas to draw things". What is our body but a living canvas we own? I was born as a blank canvas, look at me now. Aku sekarang punya bekas luka, bekas jerawat, stretch marks, tindikan, dan hal lainnya coming up soon (if you know what I mean wink wink). And yes, I embrace those new things on my body, tapi aku juga ingin menambahkan sesuatu sendiri, you know? Tindikan di telingaku adalah tiga bukti nyata bahwa I can fill my blank canvas on my own free will. Aku nggak perlu menunggu sampai ada jerawat lain yang muncul atau aku tanpa sengaja mengiris kulitku pakai gunting atau cutter atau kertas (shit happens), but I can do it now. And I take control of what I am creating on my body. Dari situlah makeup masuk.
So yeah, I have a pretty weird taste in makeup but there are others who have even weirder taste (Marilyn Manson, anybody?). And that doesn't mean that we are weird. It just simply means we take privilege of our own body and as long as we take care of it, why bother? Makeup seharusnya menyenangkan, bukan saling mendiskreditkan.
Jadi begitulah. Now excuse me while I turn my crayons into lipstick.
Title: Beautiful Player
Author: Christina Lauren
Genre: Adult, Contemporary Romance
Number of Pages: 406
ISBN 13: 978-1-4767-5140-5
Language: English
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Gallery Books
Rating: 4.75
A BOMBSHELL BOOKWORM. A CHRONIC CASANOVA. AND A LESSON IN CHEMISTRY TOO SCANDALOUS FOR SCHOOL.
When Hanna Bergstrom receives a lecture from her overprotective brother about neglecting her social life and burying herself in grad school, she's determined to tackle his implied assignment: get out, make friends, start dating. And who better to turn her into the sultry siren every man wants than her brother's gorgeous best friend, Will Sumner, venture capitalist and unapologetic playboy?
Will takes risks for a living, but he's skeptical about this challenge of Hanna's... until the wild night his innocently seductive pupil tempts him into bed - and teaches him a thing or two about being a woman he can't forget. Now that Hanna's discovered the power of her own sex appeal, it's up to Will to prove he's the only man she'll ever need.
I don't always fall for dark haired men, but when I do, it's either Roarke or Will Sumner...
The cover lures me into this book and the synopsis sells this book to me. I thought that this book was going to be a New Adult but it turned out to be an Adult book.
A completely sexy, mind blowing, panty dropping Adult book.
The thing with Will and Hanna is their honesty towards each other and how Hanna - even though she begins to lose her grip on her own conviction throughout the book - tells Will that she wants their relationship to be just friends-with-benefits and nothing more. Will is her brother's best friend after all, not to mention he's a neatly scheduled man-whore - Tuesday night with Kitty and Saturday night with Kristy? What night would you put Hanna in? But Will would give Hanna any night she wants - hell, he'd give her every second of his life if she asks! But of course our dear Hanna is unconscious of her power over Will. And through miscommunication and conclusions and other relationship shits of course they drive both of them crazy and miserable. I do, however, love the way Will didn't turn to some kind of asshole that keeps blackmailing Hanna or saying shit about her to his friends. And to put a cherry on top of it, Will Sumner has tattoos on his body. My personal favourite is a NO on his ribcage. He said he got that one on a drunk night, extremely unimpressed with the idea of God creating Eve from Adam's rib. I, too, fall in love with the way Will let Hanna live her life without pushing her to always includes him in her every schedule. And the way Will didn't deny his feelings for Hanna - his Hanna - and being completely honest about it though his friends of course mocks him for that - he's the only one between three of them who hasn't experience love after all.
"Ben," Max said, leaning back in his chair with a giant grin. "It's finally happened."
I groaned, resting my head on my hand.
"You got your period?" Bennett asked. "Congratulations."
"No, you twat," Max said, laughing. "I'm talking about Will. He's gone arse over tits for a girl."
A loud slap sounded in the background and I imagine Bennett's desk had just received a very enthusiastic high five. "Fantastic! Does he look miserable?"
My most favourite part of this book is, however, the sexting part.
What are you wearing?
I looked down at the towel around my otherwise naked chest and typed, Black jeans, yellow top, blue sweater. No, Ziggy. I mean *insert innuendo* WHAT ARE YOU WEARING. Now I really was confused. I don't get it, I typed. I'm sexting you. I paused, looked down at the phone for a few seconds before responding with What? He typed so much faster than I did, and his response appeared almost immediately. It's not nearly as hot when I have to explain it. New rule: you need to be at least borderline competent in the art of sexting. Understanding went off like a lightbulb in my head. Oh! And ha! "Sexting." Clever, Will. While I appreciate your enthusiasm and the fact that you think I'm witty enough to have come up with that, he replied, I didn't invent the term. It's been around in popular culture for quite some time, you know. Now, answer the question.
I drew a total blank. Well, actually, I'm not dressed yet, I typed. I was standing here trying to decide if it's against the rule to go without underpants because I think my skirt shows all the lines but I hate wearing thongs. I stared at the phone as the little dots indicated he was replying. Shit that was pretty good kid. But don't say underpants. Or blouse. Never sexy. Don't make fun of me. I don't know what to say. I feel like an idiot standing here naked texting you. I waited.
A few moments passed before my phone lit up again. OK. So you've obviously gotten the hang of it. Now say something dirty. Dirty? I'm waiting. Oh God. Did I have time to google something? No. I searched my mind and typed the first semi-dirty think I could think of:Sometimes, when we're running and you're controlling your breathing and lost in the rhythm of it, I wonder what noises you make during sex. So maybe that was a bit more than semi-dirty, and for what felt like an eternity, he didn't reply. Oh God. I put my phone down, convinced that Will was going to walk away and not reply ever again. He probably wanted something playful and not so... honest.
I walked into the bathroom, pulled a brush through my wet hair, and then piled it into a know on top of my head. In the other room, I heard my phone buzz on the desk. WHOA, was the first message.
The second message: Way to just... dive on in there. OK I'm gonna need a minute. Or two. OMGIMSOSOEEY I typed, with stupid fumbling fingers and completely ready to climb into a hole and die. I MEAN SORRY I CANTBELIEVEISAIDTHAT You're kidding me, he replied. That was like Christmas.
I am more than willing to continue the sexting part till the end but my blog isn't age restricted and I'm afraid some parts of it are a bit too dirty for underage kids. But I absolutely love it wink wink.
And even though Beautiful Player is more like the third book of a series, I have no problem on following the story. But of course after what Christina Hobbs and Lauren Billings had given me, I will voluntarily spend some money on their work. The steam is worth it anyway.
Recommended for: People who loves romance, a dorky girl (Hanna has a theory about hymen restoration - and honestly, it wasn't all bad), a heart-stabbing gorgeous man, or just want a light reading with steamy hot scenes, really.
Something From Nothing is the FIRST EVER Foo Fighters' song I listened to. This track has been played every morning along with the credit title on my usual news channel. I've only listened to some of Nirvana's song but I can tell that Nirvana is a BIG influence to Foo Fighters (did I said it right? "is a big influence"? Pardon my English, Sir). Maybe it's because the Dave Grohl was Nirvana's drummer. But Foo Fighters still has something that makes them different than Nirvana and I don't know how to explain it. Personal taste, maybe.
I don't know why, but the first time I listened to Something From Nothing, I immediately remember Katniss Everdeen. Somehow this song reminds me of her accidental rebellion and how Snow threatened her. What the news channel never show me, however, is like the last one half minute where the music turned harsher, kinda like more... hardcore. Now I can't stop listening to it and... I dare to bet everyone who shares similar music taste as I do cannot either.
I have an interesting news. Though ini belum bener-bener official, tapi aku punya wacana untuk mengadakan kontes dan giveaway. Gimana kontesnya? Apa hadiah giveaway-nya? Belum benar-benar diputuskan, tapi satu hal yang pasti, kontes ini berhadiah utama DVD ORIGINAL THE HUNGER GAMES.
TRIBUTES, LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!
Sebenarnya DVD ini adalah hadiah yang kudapatkan dari kontes dua tahun yang lalu dari sebuah fanbase and what better way to show my gratefulness by giving it back? So yeah, DVD original ini bisa dibilang secondhand, jadi jangan harap akan sampai pada kalian wrapped nice in plastics (lol jk mungkin nanti bakal kubungkus plastik... mungkin). But it's still in a good condition, dan lengkap ada subtitle-nya pula. Dan mungkin novel The Hunger Games serta Catching Fire movie cover juga akan masuk dalam list giveaway BUT DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.
Stay tune for further information about the contest and giveaway. :3
Seharusnya aku sekarang namatin modul bahasa Indonesia (like man, harus ya ada tugas-tugas mandiri yang nyelip di dalem bab!? Apa Ulangan Harian, Bag II, Remidi, dan Pengayaan di akhir bab belum cukup!?) tapi ya sudahlah. Who cares. *kemudian gue dijitak Bu Yanti*
Aku baru aja balik dari video Of Mice & Men - Feels Like Forever di YouTube dan kebanyakan komen mengatakan how ridiculous it is for 12 year olds complaining and saying that this song saved their lives. That music saved their lives.
Bung.
If you've been here a while, kalian bakal tahu kalau aku pernah mengalami masa-masa di mana aku hampir bunuh diri. Now I'm not saying that I'm seeking attention (like, it happens bertahun-tahun lalu jadi telat banget kan kalau baru mau caper sekarang), tapi aku hanya bersikap terbuka. Pada dasarnya, I'm an open book. Dan meskipun aku menikmati perhatian dari orang lain, people these days are so apatis dan nggak terlalu musingin hal beginian. But to all of you who've been through the same shit or going through this shit, you're not alone.
I was ten, and I was ready to took my own life. Pake apa? Gunting.
Entah kenapa kalau sekarang inget kok mau ngakak ya. Orang tuh pake silet, lah gue pake gunting. Tapi ngakak sambil nangis. Oh God what happened to me sampe aku mau bunuh diri.
"Teenagers' only problem should be losing their phone's charger."
Should. Seharusnya. God bless you, Sir, tapi sayangnya kenyataan nggak seperti itu.
Kelas lima SD, aku punya ponsel, tapi masih yang secondhand dan cuma bisa dipake SMS, telepon, main game. Tapi hilang charger bukan masalah terbesarku. Bahkan, aku gak pernah kehilangan charger (eh, apa pernah ya?). Kelas lima SD, aku di-bully secara mental.
Now what is bullying? Bullying memiliki tiga jenis yang berbeda: 1) verbal, di mana korban disakiti/dipermalukan secara verbal alias melalui kata-kata baik itu ejekan, sindiran, dan perkataan yang menyakiti lainnya; 2) fisik, di mana korban disakiti/dipermalukan secara fisik seperti dipukul, dijegal, ditampar, barangnya dirusakkan, dan tindak kekerasan fisik lainnya dan; 3) psikologis, di mana korban ditinggalkan, tidak diacuhkan, dan/atau diisolasi.
Personally, kupikir jenis ketiga adalah yang paling parah, tapi mungkin itu karena aku mengalami yang itu (aku nggak pernah dipukul - eh, yah, dipermalukan secara/melalui fisik sih pernah, tapi gak pernah sampai dipukul secara badanku paling gede mana berani). Secara verbal dan psikologis. Dan efeknya berasa sampai sekarang. Aku sering memikirkan perkataan orang lain terhadapku, menganalisis tiap lapisannya, berusaha mencari bagian yang merendahkanku. Dengan latihan dan bantuan waktu, lama kelamaan memang aku nggak lagi terlalu peduli, tapi sikap ini bagai pedang bermata dua. Di satu sisi, I don't let their words hurt me anymore tapi di sisi lain aku kurang bisa membuka diri untuk kritik, takut bakal tersakiti lagi. Padahal aku sebenarnya tau kritik mereka bermaksud baik, tapi tetep aja aku takut ngebuka gerbangnya. Aku takut bisikan-bisikan setan nan jahat itu ikut masuk.
Why did they bully me? Simpel. Karena aku beda. Ibuku membesarkanku sebagai seorang anak yang vokal dan punya opini sendiri (dan akhirnya sekarang pun kalau berantem sama Ibu pasti gak bakal jauh dari opini yang bentrok :v), dan karena di rumah nggak pernah ada yang menyuruhku "tutup mulut", di sekolah aku pun berani. Anak lain nggak begitu. Mereka nggak diperbolehkan secara bebas mengekspresikan pendapat dan perasaan mereka, bahkan bisa dibilang mereka nggak boleh berpendapat. Guru pun nggak semuanya bisa meng-handle aku. Kebanyakan akhirnya menyuruhku "tutup mulut" meski nggak secara langsung. I constantly in a battle with myself, whether or not I should speak up. Dan karena di SD-ku tiap naik kelas anak-anaknya selalu sama, I experience that for like six years. And I'm not saying that I was alone - sempat ada teman-teman yang menemani, but they always come and go. It felt like I was alone. Ibuku sibuk bekerja, pula. Sementara nenekku sibuk mengejar surganya (padahal surga nggak akan ke mana-mana kan ya). Kakakku... ah sudahlah. Kami memang nggak pernah akur. Pernah sih. Tapi waktu kami masih polos. Ceilah.
I felt like I was alone. Nobody was there for me to turn to. I lost faith in God, I lost faith in family, I lost faith in friends, I lost faith in me. Now, untuk beberapa orang mungkin masalahku sebenernya biasa aja, but just because you don't see it as a problem doesn't mean the other party doesn't. Being bullied, isolated, and walking in darkness is a problem. Losing your bobby pin is a problem. Punya keluarga yang ancur-ancuran adalah masalah. Telat dijemput pacar adalah masalah. Gak peduli sekonyol apapun itu buatmu, ingatlah bahwa nggak semua orang adalah kamu. Dan kalau kamu cukup kuat untuk melewati masalah-masalahmu, jangan malah mengecilkan masalah orang lain dan berkata, "Ah cuma gitu doang. Gue udah pernah lebih parah." Don't. You don't know. Kalau kamu cukup kuat untuk melewati fase gelap hidupmu, instead of belittling other people, why don't you extend your hands? Offer help. Because I know what it feels like being alone and man, was that suck.
"Music doesn't save your life. You did. Now stop giving other people the credit and pat yourself in the back for once."
True, Sir. Bukan Simple Plan yang menyuruhku mengurungkan niat mengiris nadiku, tapi aku. Bukan Simple Plan yang termenung dan berpikir betapa hidupku sesungguhnya berharga dan sekitar 30 orang bocah yang tidak tahu bagaimana cara melihat dari mata orang lain sesungguhnya nggak sekuat itu dalam mempengaruhiku, tapi aku. Aku yang membuat diriku sadar bahwa sesungguhnya akulah yang memiliki control over my own life. Tapi semua pemahaman itu masuk ketika aku mendengar Welcome To My Life dari radio di kamar nenekku.
Pemahaman itu menyelam masuk dalam pikiranku saat aku mencari liriknya di Internet.
Sebuah pemahaman yang membuatku sadar, bahwa aku nggak sendirian. Dan nggak peduli seburuk apapun masalah yang kuhadapi saat itu, it'll get better. Dan aku tahu mereka nggak menulis lagu itu secara spesifik untukku, tapi aku nggak bisa nggak merasa betapa mereka begitu baik, begitu terbuka, menulis sebuah lagu untuk orang yang nggak mereka kenal, saying that "hey I know your life sucks but it'll get better and I'll be there".
It's crazy. It's crazy how music and bands and everything gives you the strength to pull through. To not give up. To look at the bright side. To say, "Fuck this shit, I'm stronger than this."
Jadi memang bukan musik yang menyelamatkan hidup orang-orang, tapi mereka sendiri dibantu oleh musik. With God's permission, the radio played Simple Plan's Welcome To My Life. With God's permission I stopped and listened to it. You weren't there. You didn't know. You didn't care. How dare you to say what and who did and didn't saved my life? You didn't know. That song saved my life, Simple Plan saved my life. I saved my life. In a funny way, they saved my life.
They gave me the strength. They gave me the courage. They inspire me. And they helped me, in a funny way.
Kalau ada yang ngerasa sendirian, jangan ngerasa gitu. Kalian punya grup ini kan, jangan cuma dijadiin pelarian. Biarin dikatain curhat mulu atau baper mulu :-) don't keep your troubles to yourself. Mungkin aku gak kenal kalian secara dekat, lagian aku anak baru. Tapi kalian pasti punya orang lain yang mau denger kalian. Plis jangan ngerasa sendirian. Banyak orang yang mau bantu kalau kalian minta. AKU mau bantu. Jangan jadi sakitin diri sendiri.
Dan yang cukup kuat, please extend your hand. Banyak orang yang diam-diam nangis, diam-diam kesakitan. Kalau kalian gak bisa/gak mau bantu, minimal jangan tambah luka mereka. Stop. Udah cukup banyak orang yang menjerit minta tolong tanpa terdengar. Jangan tambahkan lagi.
Itu barusan pidato dadakanku di sebuah grup. Pemicunya? DP seorang temanku di BBM.
Noooo DP dia baik-baik saja, cuma gambar cewek dari anime/manga dengan tulisan Hiragana yang cuma bisa kubaca beberapa kata. IYEEEE JEPANG GUE PAYAH UDAH GAK USAH DIINGETIN.
Tapi, dari yang kutahu darinya, dia mengidap depresi. Entah tingkat berapa, tapi mungkin antara tingkat satu sampai dua. Mungkin tingkat satu. Mungkin tingkat dua. Semoga bukan tingkat dua. Dan dia tuh setahuku udah lama banget, like, punya masalah yang dia pendem. Pendem aja terus dipendem. Dia juga pernah suka nyayat dirinya sendiri. Kadang di paha. Kadang di lengan. Satu kali, dia bikin gambar anak kucing pakai silet di bagian dalam lengan kirinya. Aku ingat itu. Gambarnya detil, dipenuhi titik-titik darah. Mungkin bagi sebagian orang, dia attention seeker. Tapi bagiku, itu jeritan permintaan tolongnya. Sebuah jeritan yang mengatakan, "Aku sakit! Apa kalian nggak akan datang dan setidaknya berusaha menanyakan keadaanku?"
Dia juga dulu suka mimisan. Kalau sudah mimisan, bisa banyaaaak banget. Bisa berlembar-lembar tisu habis dan bahkan menetes sampai ke lantai.
Dulu. Entah sekarang. Semoga sekarang udah jauh lebih baik.
Dan kenapa aku ngomong begini?
Karena meski aku mengartikan tindakan-tindakannya sebagai sebuah upaya minta tolong, I did nothing. Aku gak ngapa-ngapain. Aku cuma duduk diam, ngeliatin titik-titik darah yang membentuk seekor anak kucing di lengan dalamnya yang kurus, dan terbelah antara rasa ngeri dan takjub. Ngeri, karena aku tidak mengerti kok ada orang yang mau menyakiti dirinya sendiri sedemikian rupa. Takjub, karena aku tidak tahu bagaimana dia bisa menahan rasa sakit demi menciptakan sebuah bentuk yang begitu detail.
Dulu aku pernah mengalami masa-masa yang kusebut dark days. Masa-masa aku nggak percaya sama orang lain dan gak mau percaya sama orang lain. Masa ketika aku merasa aku telah dikhianati dan orang lain hanya akan melakukan hal yang sama. Masa ketika aku gak percaya bahwa Tuhan itu ada dan mereka yang berbahagia hanyalah sekumpulan orang tolol yang nggak ngerti penderitaan hidup. Tapi aku gak pernah menyakiti diriku secara fisik. Sebaliknya, aku menyakiti diriku secara mental. Dan akibatnya, I constantly in a war with myself. Perasaan yang buruk. Seolah di dalam, aku terbelah menjadi dua dan masing-masing memperjuangkan apa yang mereka anggap benar. The hardest battle of all was whether or not I am worthy.
When it comes to physique, aku lebih memilih untuk bunuh diri saja sekalian. Let's not go with all the details tapi intinya akhirnya aku menemukan jalan keluar. Aku melihat sebuah cahaya dan sebuah tali untukku berpegangan dan tangan-tangan yang telah begitu lama menawarkan bantuan, namun tak pernah kuhiraukan.
Dengan sangat menyesal aku harus mengatakan bahwa "pencerahan" yang kualami tidak bersifat spiritual. Maaf kalau aku bikin kalian kecewa.
Ibuku adalah salah satu tangan yang selalu siap menolongku, tapi sayangnya, kebanyakan orang-orang yang kutemui tidak mendapatkan chemistry yang sama dengan ibu mereka. Aku beruntung, ibuku tidak melupakan masa mudanya, masa ketika ia juga merasa hilang arah, salah tempat, dan tidak diinginkan. Masa yang, menurut psikologku, nyaris semua remaja mengalaminya. Semua orang mengalaminya; mayoritas pada masa remaja. Ibuku mau mendengarkan segala keluh kesahku, meski kadang dengan menyebalkan.
Nggak semua orang seberuntung aku. Aku tahu itu. Oleh karena itu, aku menawarkan diri untuk membantu. Banyak orang yang mau membantu, all you have to do is just ask. Seringkali kita mengabaikan tangan-tangan yang telah terulur, menunggumu menerimanya. Aku nggak bisa janji aku akan mengerti, karena banyak hal yang aku nggak mengerti (like, aku aja gak ngerti kenapa aku random banget apalagi...). Tapi aku janji aku mau mendengarkan (atau baca...). Aku janji nggak akan menganggap remeh masalahmu. Dan aku janji untuk membantu semampuku.
Du bist nich allein.
You are not alone.
Kalau kalian merasa ingin curhat denganku, aku terima kok. :)
Dan selamat datang, di pengumuman pALING GAJE PALING ANEH PALING
gak penting.
OH NO WAIT INI PENTING.
AKU MASUK NOMINASI.
Ooookay. I know what you're thinking. This can't be happening. I am nobody. There is no one that is crazy enough to say that I am nominated on anything.
WRONG.
Dengan bangga aku mempersembahkan:
NERDITRONS 2014 AWARDS.
Yeah aku baru gabung sama mereka sejak kira-kira Selasa lalu BUT WHO CARES.
Mereka kece.
Tetap lebih kece aku, sih.
So what is Nerditrons? Nerditrons adalah grup WhatsApp yang bisa dibilang berisi fangirl dan fanboy buku yang kurang-lebih kalau udah ngumpul udah gak keruan. Kinda like Tributes on Fire dulu. Tapi sementara Tributes on Fire (grup BBM) dulu ditujukan khusus untuk fanboy/girl The Hunger Games, cakupan Nerditrons lebih luas karena bisa dibilang mereka menerima semua fangirl dan fanboy.
all of them. *Lex's voice*
Dan mendekati akhir tahun, mereka mengadakan Nerditrons Award dengan berbagai kategori antara lain:
1. Terbokep
2. Tercurhat
3. Tertypo
4. Terese
5. Ter24/7
6. Ternyata Ada
7. Terbaper (alias bawa perasaan)
8. Tergalau
9. Terspam
10. Best OTP (alias One True Pairing)
Tebak aku masuk nominasi kategori mana.
Yes baby.
AKU MASUK KATEGORI TERBOKEP!
Duh ya ampun aku gak ngerti lagi sama anak-anak Nerdi like aku tuh ngapain sih sampe masuk kategori terbokep padahal aku nggak pernah ngapa-ngapain lho aku gak pernah aneh-aneh aku justru jadi anak baik gitu di antara mereka jadi anak yang kalau nimbrung pun masih alim aku tuh gak pernah lho melakukan atau mengatakan hal-hal yang bisa menjurus ke bokep eh tau-tau aku udah masuk nominasi duh ini gimana sih kalau ini bukan fitnah apa coba namanya jelas-jelas aku anak alim gini kok malah masuk nominasi terbokep sih ya udah lah ya kali aja emang rezeki terus kali aja memang ini jalan hidup yang Tuhan takdirkan untukku.
EHH.
Voting ditutup sekitar pertengahan Desember dan kurasa kalian bisa voting. Entahlah. Apakah votingnya terbuka untuk umum? I don't know. Semoga aja iya. Meski aku gak ngerti juga gimana caranya kalian memberikan suara terhadap orang asing dalam kategori-kategori tersebut. Yah senggaknya minimal vote aku kek gitu. Kan lumayan kalau menang. Pride-nya itu lho.
"If you could have one thing you wanted most in this world, what would it be?"
I think for one second. Then, "You."
"Why?"
"Because you're everything to me," I say.
"Why?"
I stare into those eyes. "You're my eyes for me to see," I begin. "The nose for me to smell. The ears for me to hear. The mouth for me to speak. The skin for me to touch. The tongue for me to taste. The lips for me to kiss. The music for me to listen. The air for me to breathe. You're the oxygen for my lungs. You're the one that keeps my heart beating. You're the pulse that keeps my blood flowing."
I close my eyes. "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lose you."
"Then don't."
I open my eyes. "I'm afraid I'm starting to lose you."
"Why are you running away from me?" I lean forward, tie my fingers on my knees. "I can't live without you, you know that. If you ever leave me, I'd die. I won't be able to handle anything. You'd break me, shatter me into pieces."
Those eyes stare back at me. "You're the one that lets me go."
I feel like I just got punched on the chest. "What?"
"You're losing me," she says. "You kicked me out, so I leave."
"What - I - why..." I stutter. "I never kicked you out!"
"Yes, you did. You do. Since you be friends with them. That was the day I was beaten," she spits those words like poison that sneaks in through my ears down to my heart, making it sick. "I was beaten and you let them."
"Who?" it's getting harder for me to breathe. "How?"
"Your friends. You. Your obsession over fame has blind you."
"No! You don't understand. I did that for us. For you." Something has its grip over my heart and squeezing it.
"When was the last time you ever listened to me?"
I fall silent. She only stares at me while I'm tortured. Choking. Gasping for air.
"You trade your soul for fame, Anna. It wasn't me the thing you wanted most. It was fame. And you traded me for that. I have to go to finish the deal."
"No! Anna, don't..." I stutter, spitting sounds incoherently as my heart's sickness gets worse, as my psyche leaving me.
I'm losing me as the Anna I was once turns her back on me, embracing the light she's now under, leaving me alone with this darkness I trade her for.
I don't know what's going on, guys. I just - wait - ugh.
This is going to be some teenage drama I guess. No what wait eh wait what. NOO. Hahaha. This isn't going to be some teenage drama! More like... dilemma. But it's not a dilemma either... Mein Gott! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE! :'c
*beep*
Sooo today it's Saturday and I have had my coffee and my brunch but I can't think. Like, I can't focus. I accidentally spelt Saturday and Saturdya and back then I just spelt it Sad just before I automatically deleted it. Like, you know, when you're already used to typing you can't make mistakes on purpose. Or at least I can't. Maybe I'm suck like on making mistakes on purpose. Maybe. Yeah maybe.
SAD SATURDYA!
I literally didn't do that one on purpose. Oh gosh. See!? I've told you. I've told you I can't make mistakes on puporse but luckily I typed that fast so I didn't get a chance to automatically delete it and from now on I guess I'll just let all the typing mistakes show like I'm not going to correct it just so you guys see how messed up I am.
Okay. I just sent my mom a message on BBm saying that I'm a 180 degrees of fucked up. There. I said it.
So I woke up this morning thinking it's going to be another Saturyda. Saturday. Whatever. I'm going to do the laundry and stuff and then my mom and I, we're going to hunt for a black skirt. Because that/s what I am. Black. ...No racism intended.
I haven't even write my journal in a while like I SKIPED FOUR TO FICE FIVE DAYS IN A ROW PEOPLE HOW IS THAT HEALTY. I mean HEALTHY.
I'm starting to think that the coffee I had this morning is actualy what causes this... linglungness.
If you don't speak Indonesian, look up what does "linglung": means.
I feel so like not dizzy but not weak either it's just that I don't have that much energy. I had so much energy this morning like I do the laundry and I did my makeup for tomorrow's event then I have my coffee and BAM.
My chest beh begin to hurt and I feel like my energy just WHOOSH gone in less than sixty seconds and I can't focus and I
bin eine Katasthrope.
Und ja, I just mixed English and German together.
TOGEEETTHEERR. TOGETHER!
I don't know. I just I don't know. Tomorrow I'm going to Jakarta to the Nonbar Mockingjay event held by IndoHungerGames and I felt excited last year, but not so much this year. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm not going with any close friends. I'm not going to meet Re there (he's in college in Malang). And I'm going to meet Dita and Diza and Dhiya and Habibi and Zahra and Nuniek and every other Tribute that I know and don't buuuttt I just.
Maybe I just don't have anyone else to share the excitement this year. My mom and my step father going to drive me there and we're going at like 3:30 tomorrow but I don't have any friends I can't share the excitement with.
Let's be real, folks. I never really like Taylor Swift as an individual; I think she's a spoiled whiney little princess who thinks the world revolves around her. But before all the hate comes (and I know there's going to be A LOT) I must say that I am impressed with her Blank Space - both song and video. I wouldn't say that it is "genius" because there already plenty of people saying that and I'm sure you already know that but this (Blank Space) is clever.
By clicking the song title you'll be directed to another page that shows Blank Space's lyrics and there you'll see why I am fascinated with it. If you scroll down below you'll see Blank Space's music video imported from YouTube. Swift portrays herself in the way most of media portray her: a serial-dater, a psycho (ex) girlfriend. And honestly; those who think otherwise are just her Swifties.
Swift mocks the media and everyone who think she's a serial-dater and a psycho by exactly acting so. In the music video, when the poor guy come to her manor she dresses and acts all sweet and nice and for a while they live their happy ever after (Grab your passport and my hand / I can make the bad guys good for the weekend ... You're the king, baby I'm your queen / Find out what you want / Be that girl for a month) but then she caught him smiling while texting and she jumped to a conclusion that he's cheating (Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no / Screaming, crying, perfect storm / I can make all the tables turn... Oh my God, who is she? / I get drunk on jealousy) and begin to show her true color: starting to act all extreme like shatter his clothes and cut his painting she just made around 90 seconds ago and crying and screaming and yelling and dropping his Samsung whatever to the fountain (which one of the commenters on YouTube said is actually waterproof) and trying to cut the tree where she wrote their name together like a thirteen year old girl. In this video, she's the psychotic villain and the guy is just some sweet innocent guy that did his mistake.
Ah, guys, I think I need to give Swift a standing ovation for this one.
Let's be real. Kick Me's lyrics has been written again and again and again by so many different artist from so many different genres. It's about teen's angst towards the 'elders' and how they don't understand the teen's world. As a teenager, this is the kind of shit I like.
Yeaaahh I may have a really, REALLY bad taste in music, but hey, music is subjective. Compared to their latest album, Feel, this is definitely closer to the SWS I used to know (before, you know, the Feel age) even though the vocal and instruments are kinda different. By now I bet you already know I don't know what I'm talking about.
Let's talk about what I know. What I know is that this song is a GREAT IMPROVEMENT from Feel. Kick Me kinda reminds of the old days of Simple Plan where they also sing about teen's angst and disappointment and the pressure elders give us. To be honest, nothing new in this song; it's still the same from how we don't give two shits about what elders think to how they always try to kick us when we're down. But seeing that today's pop music are overall about being madly in love with boys and singing in the shower, I feel like Kick Me is a fresh air to breathe. It brings back the old school. And if you miss the old school post-hardcore kinda thing, I recommend this song for you.
Knock knock. "Sir?" I peek through the door. "I'm here for my laptop."
"Oh, yeah, yeah," the teacher gestures to my laptop which connected to the projector. "We're just about to done here. Nice desktop wallpaper, by the way."
"Wallpa-" I rush and see just right there, filling my entire screen, is a photo of me and my boyfriend, taken as a selfie by Gabriel without both of us noticing. "WHAT IN-"
I speed dial Gabriel and he answers just right on the first ring. "Yellow?"
"WHAT THE FUCK, GABRIEL!"
"Ah," I can hear him smiles. "You've seen it."
"Yes, I've seen it. Along with my teacher and my juniors and probably like A QUARTER POPULATION OF THE WORLD!" of course that's an exaggeration.
"Come on, it's not that bad," he pouts - well, in my head, he pouts. He sounds like he's pouting. "I picked that one 'cause it's the least gross of all - do you know that when you and Matt together you always seem to, like, want to devour one another? I'm gay and even I think that's gay. And gross."
"But why?" I cry. "Why'd you do this to me?"
"Because we're friends, sister. Friends do all that kind of stuff all the time."
"You do this to me because we're friends?" I click on the screen, trying to change the picture. "Is that what cost me to be your friend? This is not the kind of shit friends do, Gabriel! - Well, actually, maybe it is the kind of shit friends do - but that - that's not the point!"
He laughs. "You know what, I - I can't even talk to you right now. I'm really mad at you. Don't bother seeing me for couple of days because I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND SHOVE THAT UP YOUR ASS YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
As I'm shoving my phone to my pocket, I realise everyone is staring at me. "Uh," I bite my lip. "Hi?"
"Did you just threatened to shove his..." a girl blushes before she can even finish.
"Oh," I blink once. Twice. "Did I?"
Couple of heads nod. "Well shit," I say. "Because he's probably going to like it."
Monday 10 November 2014
SOMEBODY PLEASE RECOMMEND ME SOMETHING TO READ LEND ME A BOOK TO READ BECAUSE I'M FREAKIN DYING HERE I'M NOT JOKING.
Wednesday 5 November 2014
My teacher said an interesting thing today.
"If I have to be alone, then so be it. I'll die alone, anyway. We all will."
And of course, there was nothing so special in her saying; it is something I've known and I've accepted for a quite long time now. But she was - is - a teacher that I never recall anyone talks good about. She's never been anyone's favorite teacher. If anything she is said to be student's worst nightmare. And clearly there are extremely few people who likes her. Most people I know either don't really care, dislike, or passionately hate her. So let's just say nearly everyone hate her.
Does that make her alone?
Not really. She still has her colleagues and her children. But she claims that she would make a stand for what she believes. And if that means everyone will hate her and she will be isolated, that wouldn't be a problem.
Interesting.
Not so many people I know that is ready for the consequences of taking a stand. Many would say so but when reality punch them in the face with a tiny bit example of what's coming they slowly sit down.
And let the stream washes them.
And I don't know about her, but I heard some faith in her voice. Something that sounds like she believes that she will never really be alone. Because she believes in God. And she believes that God will never leave anyone who believes in Him. So she'd be okay if she has to stand, walking on the other direction alone.
I find it fascinating, yet a bit naive at the same time but also sweet. But what do I know? I'm just a sixteen year old girl and she has lived half through the century.
Not so many people has a strong faith like she has. I am fascinated.
Aku berdoa semoga kembalinya Naga Kembar bukanlah pertanda kehancuran. Gerakan pemberontakan memang telah lama muncul untuk melawan High Lord Sethon yang gila perang dan brutal ... Aku takut, kerajaan ini bisa porak poranda.
Eona, kini telah jujur mengenai jati dirinya yang sebenarnya, berkumpul kembali bersama Kygo, Kaisar Muda, beserta Dela, Ryko, Kapten Yuso, dan beberapa pemberontak lainya, salah satunya adalah Vida, putri Nelayan Kepala Tozay yang seringkali berperan sebagai dayang Putri Punggawa Naga Kembar. Ido dipenjarakan di istana oleh Sethon yang mengklaim takhta sebagai kaisar meski tanpa Mutiara Kaisar yang kini berada di pangkal tenggorokan Kygo, dijahitkan padanya sebagai bukti sah pewaris takhta. Eona dan rombongan kecilnya harus membebaskan Ido dari Sethon untuk mengajari Eona bagaimana menjadi seorang Punggawa Naga dan setelah itu mereka harus pergi ke arah Timur, tempat kelompok Pemberontak yang lebih besar telah menanti mereka... dan menanti saat untuk akhirnya menggulingkan Sethon dari takhta kerajaan.
Namun, Dillon, murid Punggawa Naga Tikus yang mencuri Manuskrip Hitam, menghadang jalan mereka, dan dia gila. Gan Hua, atau kekuatan jahat dari Manuskrip Hitam telah merusakkan otaknya. Tapi apa daya, Manuskrip Hitam itu beserta Manuskrip Merah milik Kinra, leluhur Eona dan Punggawa Naga Kembar terakhir lima ratus tahun lalu, adalah kunci untuk mengalahkan Sethon. Bersama dengan tiap keraguan, kejujuran yang terungkap, dan rasa yang tumbuh, Eona harus bisa mengalahkan Sethon, atau mati setelah melihat orang-orang yang dicintainya mati.
*
Adalah langit senja yang memaksaku menuliskan review ini. Semburat
merah-oranye matahari dari balik gumpalan kapas udara awan tampak seolah
Naga Kembar bersembunyi di baliknya, tak tampak oleh mata awamku,
berbisik, Tuliskan aku. Kisahkan aku.
Dalam buku ini, aku terombang-ambing antara Ido dan Kygo. Belum lagi pasang-surutnya kepercayaan Ryko dan Vida serta pemberontak lainnya pada Eona, meski Dela tetap setia menemani Eona terlepas dari pengkhianatan kecilnya yang dengan mudah ditepis keluar.
Ido, telah mengalami siksaan hebat dari Sethon, semakin melemah hingga akhirnya mencari perlindungan dari naganya, Naga Tikus. Karena keadaan, hua Ido terhubung dengan hua Eona, dan ikatan itu sama tidak mengenakkannya bagi Ido seperti bagi Eona - awalnya. Ido yang sejak semula menyimpan ketertarikan pada Eona justru semakin sering merayu dan menggoda gadis itu. Dan Ido tidak bisa dibilang mudah ditolak, terutama karena sebagai guru punggawa Eona, mereka sering berinteraksi. Tapi rayuan Ido yang begitu halus dan licin terkadang memancingku untuk ikut tersenyum dan berdebar bersama Eona. Dan lagi, usianya baru dua puluh empat tahun; Punggawa Naga termuda di antara dewan yang lama. Dan sepanjang buku ini, aku terus berharap, seperti Eona, bahwa Ido memang telah berubah. Mungkin dia memang telah berubah. Karena Eona. Untuk Eona.
Kygo, di sisi lain, aku menyimpan lebih banyak keraguan padanya. Mungkin saat masih di istana, ketika ia masih berstatus pangeran dan Kaisar yang lama belum mangkat, aku bisa percaya bahwa motifnya tulus. Tapi kini, saat ia telah berstatus seorang kaisar dan mengutamakan negaranya di atas segalanya, aku sering meragu apakah ia melakukan hal-hal yang ia lakukan karena ia memercayai Eona atau sekadar untuk meraup kekuasaan lebih banyak lagi. Meski seorang pejuang, Kygo juga seorang politikus. Dan seorang politikus tidak akan melakukan banyak hal secara cuma-cuma, bahkan demi cinta. Aku terus terlempar antara Kygo dan Ido, dan sejujurnya, ini pertama kalinya hal seperti itu terjadi. Seolah kesetiaan dan dukunganku tidak bisa menemukan pijakan yang tepat. Dan saat pijakan itu kutemukan, dengan segera runtuh meninggalkanku termangu dengan hati yang patah.
Cukup banyak tokoh dalam buku ini sampai-sampai aku tidak lagi mengingat siapa adalah siapa. Kurasa karena topik utama dalam buku ini adalah pemberontakan, maka tidak heran ada begitu banyak nama yang berseliweran. Kau tidak bisa menggerakkan pemberontakan dengan sekadar tiga orang. Tapi nama-nama yang memang familier: Kygo, Ido, Dela, Ryko, dan Vida terus bercokol dalam ingatanku. Bahkan Rilla dan Chart ditemukan kembali.
Kalau kalian tidak pernah setuju dan menganggap hubungan sesama jenis itu menjijikkan, mungkin sebaiknya kalian tidak membaca buku ini karena - SPOILER, SKIP PARAGRAF INI KALAU GAK MAU TAU - Dela dan Ryko akhirnya sama-sama menyatakan perasaan mereka. Dan meskipun Dela adalah seorang contraire - perempuan yang hidup dalam tubuh laki-laki - penyamarannya sebagai laki-laki sepanjang perjalanan mereka telah mengeluarkan sedikit sisi maskulinnya. Tentu saja aku suka, tapi aku lebih memilih Dela sebagai seorang perempuan sebagaimana dirinya pun begitu. Entahlah. Membayangkan Dela sebagai laki-laki rasanya sama seperti membayangkan gadis paling lemah lembut dan baik hati yang kautahu menebas kepala seseorang. Ryko, di sisi lain, menyeimbangkan Dela, dan terlepas dari kelakuan menyebalkannya beberapa kali, tampak jelas bahwa ia memang mencintai Dela. Tapi tentu saja tidak semua tokoh boleh berakhir bahagia. Setidaknya mereka sempat mencicipi kebersamaan sebagai sepasang kekasih.
Dalam 655 halaman yang sadis itu, waktu yang kuhabiskan untuk membacanya sangat pantas. Tiap latar, tiap sabetan pedang, tembakan panah, tiap kedipan dan helaan napas para tokoh, hingga perasaan yang campuraduk di dalamnya. Aku merasakan itu semua. Dan mungkin karena itu pula lah ketika salah seorang dari mereka mati, aku merasa begitu hampa. Bagi seorang pembaca 'gila' sepertiku, itu adalah hal yang cukup bagus. Sungguh sayang beribu-ribu sayang aku harus berpisah dengan Eona dan dunianya yang begitu menakjubkan.
The Falcon Lord strikes again! And this time, I guess he's tired waiting for Pewds-sama to notice him.
So he sent him a song lyrics instead.
I found the lyrics here, and if you want you can watch the original video here or just scroll down below because I also imported the video to this post.
The video thumbnail is a bit nasty if you ask me. Showing probably a girl's butt (it's Pewdiepie. You can never really be too sure) wearing super short pink hotpants and a wolf behind that butt getting ready to "suck" that ass. And if you take a closer look, the wolf looks like the one from FaceRig; yet another game Pewds has been screwing with.
The song, and I quote a line from the lyrics, "are desperation" - or in this case, is desperation (because I said song instead songs... get it?). The Falcon Lord is simply like a symbolism of Pewds' haters and spammers and trolls, basically. And he already done like three songs I think of Falcon Lord but last time I heard the Falcon Lord is actually already living happy in Africa as a giraffe and didn't bother us... UNTIL HE GETS AN INTERNET CONNECTION IN AFRICA.
I'm not gonna lie, like Falcon Lord's other songs that Pewds sang, this one is extremely catchy and funny. Yet, it also like captures the Falcon Lord's desperation of trying to hate on Pewds but since Pewds disables comments it has become a pretty hard thing to do. Well, yeah, you can still tweet him or whatever but, hey, it's not as "fun" trolling on Twitter like it is on YouTube.
If you haven't know Falcon Lord, I suggest you look for Pewds' videos about him. He's a troll. A giraffe troll. A desperately funny giraffe troll. Does that makes any sense?
Oh, and also, I thought that this song was going to be Minaj's Anaconda parody but apparently... NOT. However, Pewds' angelic voice and his awesome rapping really covers my disappointment. I recommend this to whoever wants to take a break from all those pop songs out there. And yes, including All About That Bass and its friends.
Send this song to whoever you want to suck your ass... get closer to God in that tight situation.
This search term always shows up on my statistic page. And by always, I mean, ALWAYS. And that is "berbicara sendiri". And if you don't know what that means, it means talking to yourself.
PLEASE, people. It's not something you should be extremely worried about. There are A LOT more things to worry about: gas prices, school's debts, your family needs, and other shits. A person talking to oneself is actually pretty normal. Pretty, because, well, you know, I'm not a psychologist or anything. I KNOW PRETTY MUCH NOT SO MUCH ABOUT IT but well, I'm talking by my own experience. And I talk to myself A LOT. like, REAL LOT. I mutter, I murmur, and even speak casually. TO MYSELF.
And I am sane.
Or at least that's what I believe.
Babies, kids, teenager, young adults, adults, old people; we all talk to ourselves sometimes. It's normal. Healthy, even. Because then you train yourself to speak up your mind and if you can't be honest to yourself how would you expect to be honest to other people?
I talk to myself when giving comments of my own actions and stupidity and God knows I do MANY stupid things - it's just my thing. Yes, I do get a lot of strange stares from stranger but, well, I don't think that it's because they think I'm insane. It's just that not so many people talk to themselves out in the society. It's like one's deepest secret to talk to themselves. But, hey, everybody does it, right? Some do it frequently, some rarely, some can even count their times of talking to themselves in one hand. But everybody does it. Everybody. It's like a basic instinct, to reflect of our actions and reactions. To see things from another perspective. Try it. When you have problems, try to talk to yourself. It stimulates your brain to think differently. It's like you're positioning yourself as the speaker and the listener. It helps you to see flaws and/or strength of your logic and action and reaction.
It's not something to worry about. Unless you can't control it or you feel like you really are two persons in one body or you just so lonely you begin to create an imaginary friend. Don't seek help from the Internet. The Internet is full of lies. And if you're still reading this to this point, I suggest you to close this page and seek real help instead. Psychologist. Psychiatrist. Someone who knows this shit well. But it's not something to be worried about.
Dalam dunia yang penuh dusta, sebuah kebenaran bisa sangat mematikan...
Eon adalah seorang bocah lelaki berusia dua belas tahun yang dengan didikan keras masternya, Lord Brannon, ditempa agar terpilih menjadi seorang punggawa naga. Setelah empat tahun berlatih, di kedatangan tahun tikus sesuai shio Cina, Eon mengikuti pertandingan dengan bocah-bocah lelaki lain dengan satu tujuan: menunjukkan diri sebagai yang terbaik untuk diangkat menjadi murid Punggawa Naga Tikus dan kemudian menjadi Punggawa Naga Tikus yang sesungguhnya di siklus yang berikutnya.
Namun, Eona, gadis berusia enam belas tahun yang hidup di dalam diri Eon ternyata justru memanggil Naga Naga atau Naga Kembar yang telah menghilang selama 500 tahun. Ia tidak menjadi murid punggawa naga, tapi langsung menjadi seorang punggawa naga karena tidak ada Punggawa Naga Kembar yang dapat mengajarinya. Adalah sebuah hal yang sangat dilarang, bahkan berpotensi dihukum mati, jika ternyata ada seorang wanita yang menjadi seorang punggawa naga. Lantas, apa yang Eon/a miliki yang membuat Naga Kembar tertarik padanya?
Belum selesai urusan Eon/a berusaha mempertahankan identitasnya sebagai lelaki, ia juga harus dihadapkan dengan seorang punggawa naga tamak yang ingin menyatukan semua kekuatan punggawa naga, seorang anak selir dan adik dari Kaisar Yang Mulia yang ingin mengambilalih tampuk kekuasaan, serta keengganan Naga Kembar untuk menyatu dengannya. Apakah Eon atau Eona yang lebih sanggup mengatasi itu semua?
*
Peringatan sebelumnya: aku bukan reviewer "sungguhan", jadi maaf saja kalau review ini benar-benar sesuka hatiku. :p
Eon ini buku yang akhirnya kubaca setelah sekian tahun sering kulihat di rak buku milik ibuku. Kenapa baru sekarang kubaca, dan bukan dari dulu? Alasannya simpel: gak minat. Tapi tahun ini hampir habis, aku nyaris gak punya uang lagi untuk beli buku baru, dan hei, kenapa gak baca buku lama yang emang belum kubaca aja? Dan itulah mengapa akhirnya aku baca Eon. Gak ngerti juga kenapa harus Eon padahal ada banyak buku-buku lain yang belum kubaca. Mungkin sama kayak esensi Eon manggil Naga Kembar, esensinya pun manggil aku. Halahh.
Jadi, Eon tuh ceritanya tentang cewek yang hidup sebagai cowok. Tapi dia bukan Contraire kayak Putri Dela - laki-laki yang memilih hidup sebagai perempuan. Isu "transgender" dalam buku ini sama sekali nggak menyinggung pihak manapun menurutku, tapi lebih menunjukkan tentang pilihan jalan hidup seseorang, dan Putri Dela mungkin jauh lebih cewek more than I could ever be *gigit tisu*
Untuk menutupi identitas Eon yang sesungguhnya, terutama saat ia diundang tinggal di istana bersama Kaisar Yang Mahamulia, Eon memainkan peran sebagai Pemuda Rembulan, yaitu laki-laki muda yang udah dikebiri dari kecil untuk menyucikannya. Jadi ada tiga jenis Rembulan dalam buku ini: 1) Rembulan yang merujuk pada cewek beneran; 2) Rembulan yang merujuk pada pemuda yang dikebiri untuk menyucikan mereka karena mereka dipersiapkan untuk tugas penting dan; 3) Rembulan yang merujuk pada prajurit dan pengawal di istana yang berjenis kelamin laki-laki namun dikebiri pula, baik dengan keinginan mereka sendiri ataupun terpaksa (karena jadi tawanan perang, misalnya). Konsepnya mirip dengan Avoks di Panem, yang beda cuma organ yang dipotong.
Tapi karena penolakan Eona untuk mengatakan namanya saat Naga Kembar menghampirinya di lapangan di hadapan seisi kota bahkan Kaisar, Naga Kembar semakin menjauh, terutama saat Eona makin berusaha menekan sisi rembulannya karena dikiranya itulah yang membuat Naga Kembar menjauh (padahal nggak). Ada pula Lord Ido, Punggawa Naga Tikus sekaligus guru sahabat Eon, Dillon yang terpilih oleh Naga Tikus. Lord Ido ingin menyatukan kekuatan semua punggawa naga, menjadikannya yang terkuat, dan ia yakin satu-satunya cara adalah dengan membunuh semua punggawa naga yang lain kecuali Lord Eon karena dibutuhkan penyatuan Matahari dan Rembulan agar Lingkaran Mutiara - penyatuan kekuatan para punggawa naga - terpenuhi. Begitu Lord Ido tau Eon sebenarnya Eona... yah bisa tebak sendirilah.
Aku - gak akan bohong - bisa dibilang lebih menyukai Putri Dela ketimbang Eon/a. Mungkin karena Putri Dela jujur pada dirinya sendiri tentang identitasnya meski karena di tempatnya sekarang seorang Contraire tidak dianggap membawa keberuntungan seperti di tempatnya berasal, bahkan sampai tulisan iblis ditorehkan dengan kejam menggunakan pisau pada dadanya. Sementara Eon... well, bahkan saat ia memiliki kesempatan untuk mengatakan yang sebenarnya pada Dela, orang yang paling ia percaya di istana, ia menjegal dirinya dengan ketidakpercayaan dan ketakutan. Meski tindakannya bagiku bisa dimengerti, tetap aja aku gak setuju.
World building dalam buku ini jelas tapi gak ngebosenin. Dari narasi Eon/a bisa kebayang banget gimana lingkungan istana, lengkap dengan tingkatan sosialnya. Kayak yang Goodman sendiri bilang, Negeri Naga Kayangan ini terinspirasi dari lingkungan kekaisaran Cina dan Jepang, dan berhubung aku emang udah lumayan "kenal", mungkin itu yang bikin aku gak sulit ngebayanginnya. Tapi tetap aja deskripsi cowoknya kubuat suka-suka, terutama Pangeran Kygo (gak relaaa kalau dia dibotakin kecuali sejalin rambut di belakang kepalanya, bodo amat itu simbol kehormatan. Gak relaaa).
Meskipun buku ini bisa dibilang udah lumayan lama, tapi kalau kalian mau rehat sejenak dari genre dystopian dan fiksi yang "normal-normal aja", kusarankan baca Eon, deh. Pergantian suasana yang kece banget. :)
Saturday 1 November 2014
Aku melakukan perombakan cukup besar pada rumahku. Dan rumah di sini maksudku adalah blog.
Kuharap kalian suka. Kuharap perubahan ini mendorongku untuk kembali menulis lebih banyak di sini karena, well, blog ini sudah cukup lama kutinggalkan. Kuharap bulan baru bisa membawa keinginan menceritakan hal pada dunia lebih banyak lagi. Atau lebih tepatnya, energi untuk menceritakan hal pada dunia kembali lagi.
Thank you. Because if it wasn't for you - whoever the hell you are - I probably won't even care about this blog anymore.
Jerit dan teriakan terdengar begitu keras dari satu dua tiga gedung. Suara-suara itu tak mau berhenti dan orang-orang berlarian dan bumi berguncang dan dinding bergetar dan suara-suara itu menggema ke sekeliling tempat. Ke arah manapun kami menoleh suara itu terus terdengar.
Begitu keras hingga akhirnya Nao memutuskan meninggalkanku.
*
"Hai Toriii," sapa Nao saat Tori lewat untuk kedua kalinya, kali ini tangannya memegang boks makanan. Di belakangnya, Annisa dan Diana mengikuti. Melihat gelas plastik berisi cairan coklat dalam gelas Annisa, aku sontak menyeringai.
"Mau majak!"
Annisa menjerit kecil lalu berlari, dengan penuh semangat aku mengikutinya. Saat aku berhasil menjajarinya, akhirnya ia menyerah sambil tertawa dan menyodorkanku bubble drink rasa coklat itu, yang tanpa tahu malu kusedot banyak-banyak.
"Udah! Udah!"
Aku mengeluarkan suara yang mirip tawa dari dadaku, karena mulutku penuh. Aku mengerucutkan bibir dan memberinya kecup jauh dan berbalik. Diana mengangkat bubble drink miliknya yang berwarna biru dan - seharusnya - memiliki rasa bubble gum. "Dilla, mau sabun?"
"Ew," aku mengerutkan wajah jijik. "Gak. Makassih."
Diana tertawa dan masuk ke kelasnya. Saat aku kembali duduk di hadapan Nao di depan lab. kimia, ia sedang menyuruh Tori masuk kelas.
"Udah, makan sana," ujar Nao sambil mengial ke arah kelas Tori.
"Oke," jawab Tori pelan sambil tersenyum.
"Aku berasa tua tau kalau sama dia," Nao mengempaskan punggungnya ke tiang tembok (atau apapun itu namanya). "Soalnya dia tuh sering merhatiin orang, kan. Orang ngobrol, ngumpul, atau ngapain, dia ikut. Terus dia nemeniiin aja terus, sampe lupa makan. Makanya kusuruh makan."
Aku hendak menyahut, mengatakan sesuatu tentang Kamu induk ayamnya Tori ciap ciap tetapi kemudian speaker berbunyi dan suara seorang wakasek menggema ke mana-mana. Suaranya dipantulkan dari satu sudut ke sudut lain di ruang terbuka ini hingga kami tidak bisa mendengar apapun. Meskipun begitu, mereka yang berada cukup dekat dengan kelas-kelas sontak mendekati pintu untuk mendengar pengumuman itu.
Setidaknya tiga puluh detik kemudian, sorak sorai terdengar. Jerit dan teriakan terdengar begitu keras dari satu dua tiga gedung.
Suara-suara itu tak mau berhenti dan orang-orang berlarian dan bumi
berguncang dan dinding bergetar dan suara-suara itu menggema ke
sekeliling tempat. Ke arah manapun kami menoleh suara itu terus
terdengar. Begitu keras hingga akhirnya Nao memutuskan meninggalkanku dan menghampiri seorang guru yang lewat di depan ruang Tata Usaha. Euforia itu begitu meledak-ledak dan dengan cepat menular meski aku masih menerka-nerka apa sebabnya, tapi tidak sesulit itu menebak alasan teriakan-teriakan primitif kemenangan dari mulut-mulut remaja SMA. Suara-suara itu terdengar seolah kami adalah para tawanan dalam penjara selama beberapa tahun yang dibebaskan tanpa syarat. Seperti teriakan para terjajah yang akhirnya merdeka. Seolah obat/vaksin bagi kanker, HIV/AIDS, ebola, ALS, MERS, dan berbagai penyakit mematikan lainnya telah ditemukan.
Begitu keras, jika sang malaikat meniup trompet tanda kiamat telah datang pun tak akan terdengar.
Nao kembali padaku dengan mata berseri-seri. "Pulang!" katanya. "Sekolah dibubarkan!"
"Pulang!?" aku melonjak. "PULANG?"
Aku ikut bersorak-sorai bersama wajah-wajah yang hanya kuketahui namanya satu persen dari keseluruhan, dengan mereka yang tidak kukenal namun untuk lima menit yang singkat itu kami semua satu kesatuan yang padu.
It's been a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time since I blog.
Tolong maafkan akuuuuu~ maafkan saajaaaaa~ *ganti lirik lagu Tulus*
Aku gak benar-benar yakin bahwa aku punya, kayak, "daily" reviewer atau pembaca yang secara berkala ngecek blogku untuk baca, tapi yang pasti aku minta maaf karena belum menulis lagi untuk waktu yang FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY.
Mungkin karena akhir-akhir ini aku menulis jurnal dan sebelumnya blog adalah jurnal yang kupakai but oh well can't tell the world everything so.
BIG NEWS! I'VE FINISHED READING IGNITE ME! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!
For those of you who don't know, Ignite Me adalah buku ketiga dari trilogi Shatter Me karya Tahereh Mafi. Buku-bukunya secara berurutan adalah Shatter Me - Unravel Me - Ignite Me. Dan aku gak tau kalian tau atau nggak, tapi yang pasti karena dalam buku ini ada cinta segitiganya, I've took my side. #TeamWarnerForevah.
I love how Warner loves Juliette. I love how he was - is - very supportive to her even in times when he was being misunderstood. But he doesn't care.
"I see neither your forgiveness nor your approval. Because I do not have the luxury of philosophizing over scruples when I'm forced to act on basic instinct every day."
He lives his life in his own way. But he'd do anything for Juliette. Warner doesn't think that Juliette is fragile or needs to be protected. He knows that she could protect herself - she just hasn't figured out how yet.
I take a tight breath. Focus on the brightest star in the sky. "I like the way I feel about myself when I'm with him," I say quietly. "Warner thinks I'm strong and smart and capable and he actually values my opinion. He makes me feel like his equal - like I can accomplish just as much as he can, and more. And if I do something incredible, he's not even surprised. He expects it. He doesn't treat me like I'm some fragile little girl who needs to be protected all the time."
I think being a vocal person I always need someone who doesn't think that I'm fragile (because I'm not) or needs to be protected (well sometimes true) because she can't defend herself (shit). And in this series, I just don't find those qualities in Adam. He treated Juliette like she's weak. And even though she was, that was because she was afraid. Afraid of the world. Afraid of herself. She doesn't need some sweet gentle guy who'll console her and always placing her behind his back. She needs a strong willing guy to take place behind her back and push her. If you keep saying that it's okay for your baby not to talk they will never even try to talk.
And I guess once you stopped doing what you love you start to feel like you're lost and pressure begins to build up inside and they just keep growing and growing until you feel you cannot bear it anymore.
And I know it's been a while since I wrote here and I know that none of you probably miss me waiting to see another writing, but I do miss blogging.
Physically I don't see anything changes dramatically. I see my schedules, my routines, and things, I don't see any dramatic changes. But mentally. That's another thing. Mentally I feel changed. More like challenged. And I don't really like being challenged. Now I have this sort of anxiety-like when I'm around a large group of people. Like seriously just thinking about it just now, I don't feel comfortable, I shivered, and I just like... ugh.
I don't really think I could explain this anxiety-like thing that I feel to you but honestly who cares well I do care but I shouldn't.
I want to paint my walls. I hate this color. And I hate the writings I put on it even MORE. Not really hate, more like dislike. I wrote these things when I was in a lost-like condition. They turn out... ew.
My friend wrote a book; have I told you this before? It's called Gravedancer. He published it indie-ly. Unfortunately. Oh em gee, that rhymey. Okay I forced the last one but what do you know.
It's not that I don't like or don't trust indie publishers, but here; anyone can write anything then throw it to the indie publisher if they have enough money then call it a book. Which is why I prefer books from major publishers. But oh well. The Gravedancer was the first book out of ten, if I'm not wrong. He promised not to overdo the series like what - ahem - Clare did but ten's still pretty much kinda many. But apparently the Gravedancer alone is only about 119 pages so I'm cool with that. I printed it and wrote pretty many notes on it. I planned to send it to him but I'll just wait for him to send me the REAL printed version of Gravedancer.
Well.
My room is a mess. My head is a maze. I finally watched the Maze Runner today. As a movie it was good. Like, the kind of good that makes you want to watch it again. But as a movie adaptation out of book; pretty disappointing. Many scenes were either cut or changed. I was hoping for it to be... merrier, is that what you call it? But it was quite... deserted. And if I wrote it wrong well I'm sorry I was too lazy to think I just typed it into Google.
What have you done Dilla you should be ashamed.
Well anyway, I've got plenty of things to do like my class project on drama. Not that kind of drama but the kind of drama you watch on, like, idk stages or something. The script haven't done yet and we're going to play it in November. We literally have got nothing done. Oh what a beautiful life this is.
Ketika tekanan nilai, peringkat, tugas, dan kewajiban sebagai pelajar terlalu membebani sampai aku melakukan hal yang belum pernah kulakukan sebelumnya:
Aku mencukur rambut halus di betisku.
Rambut halus, bukan bulu. Aku mamalia, bukan unggas.
Dan saat aku memilih berprokrasinasi dengan jalan membersihkan kamar mandi ketimbang menghadapi naskah drama yang harus kuselesaikan, kau tahu aku sudah stress.
Belum lagi tadi aku iseng-iseng membuat es krim pisang tapi gulanya terlalu banyak, aku sampai mau muntah. Isinya cuma tiga potong pisang, selai kacang dan coklat, serta susu lho. Dan kubuat sendiri tuh. Terbayang makanan dan minuman yang diproses itu, yang kadar gulanya super tinggi. Apa coba isinya, sampai badanku sanggup menahan gula yang begitu banyak?
Kurasa mengapa aku kini nyaris tidak memiliki waktu adalah karena meskipun sekolah tidak terlalu beda dengan tahun lalu, kini aku lebih sadar dengan tanggung jawab dan kewajibanku. Dan itu. sama sekali. tidak. menyenangkan.
Aku benci menjadi orang bertanggungjawab. Orang yang bertanggungjawab sulit bersenang-senang. Orang yang bertanggungjawab punya beban. Dan aku nggak pernah mau jadi orang yang bertanggungjawab. Aku cuma ngulang-ngulang nih, di sini.
Setan cilik.
November nanti, kelasku akan menampilkan drama terkait Bulan Bahasa. Ceritanya dari kelas sepuluh sampai dua belas IBB-Bahasa bakal tampil. Dan drama kelasku tuh... ceritanya... dark banget...
Aku sampe gak kuat nulisnya.
Aku mau muntaaaaahhh :c ini manis banget sampe giung.
Eh omong-omong, tadi aku jalan keliling komplek dan sprint entahberapakali bolak-balik. Wks.
Kalian mau mencicipi neraka? Harganya murah, kok. Paling mahal juga cuma Rp100.000,00. Aku bisa mencicipi neraka hanya dengan biaya Rp50.000,00 di salah satu mall di kotaku.
Mau tahu gimana?
Datangi tempat tindik di manapun lalu mintalah supaya telingamu dibuatkan tindikan di bagian dekat atau bahkan persis di tulang rawan.
Nikmati neraka duniamu.
Hae gaiz. Hari ini aku ikut foto keluarga besar bahasa SMA-ku. Dari kelas X, XI, dan XII semuanya ikut. Yah, gak semua banget, sih. Ada beberapa yang gak ikut, but you get what I mean. Sebelum ke studio, aku ke mall dulu. Memutuskan bahwa aku belum melakukan hal bodoh selama setidaknya empat hari dan mumpung lagi punya duit, aku langsung naik ke lantai dua tempat booth tindik yang jasanya kugunakan setidaknya dua tahun yang lalu. Berdiskusi sebentar dengan penjaga boothnya, aku lalu dipersilakan duduk.
Dan proses tindik menindik pun dimulai.
Pada awalnya, rasanya memang nggak sakit. Nggak sesakit kena bola di mukamu sih. Lebih kepada kaget. Lalu. LALU. Beberapa menit kemudian telingaku mulai berdenyut dengan lubang itu sebagai pusatnya.
brengsek.
Aku bahkan berdarah, tau gak? Padahal waktu itu aku bikin tindikan juga, gak berdarah. Entahlah mengapa. Mungkin karena kalau di daun telinga, pembuluh darahnya lebih sedikit? Bisa jadi. Dan, omong-omong, sebenarnya bikin tindikan itu bukan tindakan bodoh. Tindakan bodohnya adalah aku langsung mengutak-atik lubangnya begitu sampai rumah. Aku melepas anting cincin berwarna hijau (baru) yang kubeli bersamaan dengan membuat tindikan kemudian membersihkannya dengan air hangat dan
mulai gemetar
waktu
gak bisa masang lagi.
Akhirnya anting mataku yang warna putih (yang selama ini kugunakan di lubang kedua earlobe kanan) kupindahkan ke helix dan yang hijau ada di earlobe.
DAN.
INI TUH.
MASIH.
BERDENYUT-DENYUT PANAS.
Padahal waktu tadi sore jalan pulang ke rumah, lubangnya udah baik-baik aja. Ah dasar kampret. Gara-gara aku mainin sih. Emang bego dasar. Pantes aja ranking turun.
Oh yaa. Dan coba tebak, siapa yang diajak oleh seorang guru untuk presentasi di Institut Teknologi Bandung?
Sungguh, aku berharap bukan aku.
Tapi sialnya, aku terlanjur mengiyakan. Hell, she isn't kind of a teacher you can speak your mind. Aku bahkan diwanti-wanti oleh guru sastraku agar tidak mengungkapkan pendapatku pada si ibu, karena beliau bukan guru yang mengapresiasi perbedaan pendapat. Jadi memang arti guru baginya adalah digugu dan ditiru.
Halah.
Jadi begitulah. Daripada kalau menolak aku repot sendiri (padahal belum dicoba tuh. Halah) akhirnya aku bilang iya. Ah dasar kampreto suroto bebeb toto.
Ya pokoknya begitulah. Also, aku gak akan terlalu banyak menulis di blog kayaknya, karena kelas sebelas ini JAUH LEBIH GILA daripada kelas sepuluh. Ugh. Aku ingin cepat-cepat lulus, tapi pertanyaanku: memang setelah lulus kamu mau apa?
I take it back! Rasanya nyaris gak mungkin Agustus akan jadi bulan seproduktif Juli dalam blogging. Kenapa? Karena aku sekolah lima hari dalam seminggu dari pukul tujuh sampai tiga dan karena jarak yang jauh, biasanya aku pukul enam udah berangkat dari rumah dan baru pulang lagi pukul empat sore. Itupun kalau gak ada kegiatan ekskul. Alhasil tiap pulang aku langsung TEWAS.
Aku beres baca semua buku cetak ulang seri Rumah Kecil yang kupunya - Rumah Kecil di Rimba Besar, Anak Tani, Di Tepi Sungai Plum, Musim Dingin yang Panjang, dan Kota Kecil di Padang Rumput. Tambahan, akupun akhirnya baca Days of Blood and Starlight, lanjutan Daughter of Smoke and Bone-nya Laini Taylor. ACK. Sekarang aku harus nunggu untuk Dreams of Gods and Monsters! Sialan.
Rabu lalu aku mabal untuk pertama kalinya. Upacara maulid Nabi Muhammad sih gak terhitung mabal. Ini jenis mabal yang bikin aku cekikikan tak terkontrol karena gugup dan jantung berdebar keras karena adrenalin. Jenis yang, sesungguhnya, patut dijatuhi hukuman. Tapi, hei, everybody gotta live. Apalah arti masa sekolah kalau dilewati menjadi murid patuh terus menerus. Apa yang harus kuceritakan pada anak-cucuku nanti?
Lenganku mengalami gatal-gatal cukup hebat, tapi hanya pada titik-titik tertentu. Membuatku bertanya-tanya berapa harga yang harus dibayarkan untuk mengganti lengan-lengan itu dengan sepasang kaki kuda yang kuat. Mungkin sekalian aja kakiku pun diganti.
Ah, aku mengalami friksi dengan seniorku. Payahnya, dulu kami sempat dekat. Kurasa memang nothing lasts forever.
Coba tebak siapa yang menghabiskan nyaris tujuh ratus ribu dalam waktu kurang dari sebulan?
Kelasku mengalami penambahan makhluk, dan kini aku gak bisa duduk sendirian lagi. Seorang juniorku dari kelas IBB superduper imut dan tiap kali ketemu aku pasti meluk dia. Hehe. Aku bisa apa? Mau kujadikan peliharaan, aku takut orangtuanya gak setuju. Atau mungkin mereka justru lega. Entahlah. Nanti kutanyakan.
Aku lagi senang menggambar mata mengikuti gambar Hamsa yang tertoreh di tangan para Chimaera (Daughter of Smoke and Bone). Mungkin berikutnya orang-orang akan menuduhku antek Iluminati.
Masih belum membuat tindikan yang lama ingin kubuat.
Membutuhkan rak buku baru yang bisa menampung setidaknya dua ratus novel. Ada yang punya saran atau bahkan rak buku bekas? cntct mi plx.
Terpilih menjadi sekretaris organisasi mading sekolahku. Aku agak merasa seperti Alicia di Mallory Towers; merasa mampu menjadi pemimpin dan ingin menjadi pemimpin, tapi tak terpilih. Bedanya? Aku sadar diri, gak kayak Alicia ngambek dulu seminggu. :p
Aku berani nonton Catacombs Challenge-nya Pewds! Yay!
