dun dun dunn

I     don't       know.

I don't know what's going on, guys. I just - wait - ugh.

This is going to be some teenage drama I guess. No what wait eh wait what. NOO. Hahaha. This isn't going to be some teenage drama! More like... dilemma. But it's not a dilemma either... Mein Gott! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE! :'c

*beep*

Sooo today it's Saturday and I have had my coffee and my brunch but I can't think. Like, I can't focus. I accidentally spelt Saturday and Saturdya and back then I just spelt it Sad just before I automatically deleted it. Like, you know, when you're already used to typing you can't make mistakes on purpose. Or at least I can't. Maybe I'm suck like on making mistakes on purpose. Maybe. Yeah maybe.

SAD SATURDYA!

I literally didn't do that one on purpose. Oh gosh. See!? I've told you. I've told you I can't make mistakes on puporse but luckily I typed that fast so I didn't get a chance to automatically delete it and from now on I guess I'll just let all the typing mistakes show  like I'm not going to correct it just so you guys see how messed up I am.

Okay. I just sent my mom a message on BBm saying that I'm a 180 degrees of fucked up. There. I said it.

So I woke up this morning thinking it's going to be another Saturyda. Saturday. Whatever. I'm going to do the laundry and stuff and then my mom and I, we're going to hunt for a black skirt. Because that/s what I am. Black. ...No racism intended.

I haven't even write my journal in a while like I SKIPED FOUR TO FICE FIVE DAYS IN A ROW PEOPLE HOW IS THAT HEALTY. I mean HEALTHY.

I'm starting to think that the coffee I had this morning is actualy what causes this... linglungness.

If you don't speak Indonesian, look up what does "linglung": means.

I feel so like not dizzy but not weak either it's just that I don't have that much energy. I had so much energy this morning like I do the laundry and I did my makeup for tomorrow's event then I have my coffee and BAM.

My chest beh begin to hurt and I feel like my energy just WHOOSH gone in less than sixty seconds and I can't focus and I

bin eine Katasthrope.

Und ja, I just mixed English and German together.

TOGEEETTHEERR. TOGETHER!

I don't know. I just I don't know. Tomorrow I'm going to Jakarta to the Nonbar Mockingjay event held by IndoHungerGames and I felt excited last year, but not so much this year. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm not going with any close friends. I'm not going to meet Re there (he's in college in Malang). And I'm going to meet Dita and Diza and Dhiya and Habibi and Zahra and Nuniek and every other Tribute that I know and don't buuuttt I just.

Maybe I just don't have anyone else to share the excitement this year. My mom and my step father going to drive me there and we're going at like 3:30 tomorrow but I don't have any friends I can't share the excitement with.

Kinda sad.

Sad Saturday.

andimisswritingonmyjournalbutidon'tknowhwattowriteandithinkijustmadeatypobacktherebutwhocares.

I just want to curl and cry but there's no feelings.

So sad.

Sad Saturday.

SEKIAN DARI DILLA!