To Makeup or Not To Makeup

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, there was a young girl who seeks comfort within books and music. Music videos after music videos she sees so many makeup look and decides she wants to be a goth girl.

Thus, the sotry bagen.

Yeah alright I'm going to admit: I don't even remember at what exact age I started experimenting with makeup but I sure as hell remember one photo I took when I was like around 11 or 13 and I looked like a gODDAMN 30 SOMETHING YEAR OLD WOMAN.

*shudders*

Those were the dark days.

As the year goes by I might just dare to say that I'm getting better and better with makeup and I also got some kind of improvement with the tools, too. But unfortunately I don't have enough occasion to show people my... um... experiment.

Being a high school student in a public local school I am strictly prohibited to wear any makeup to school. Oh sure you can still find some lip tints here and there but that's it. No eyeliner, no blushes, no lipsticks, let alone any fake lashes. Oh, and by the way, am I the only one who doesn't like to wear mascara? Please tell me I'm not alone on this train. But anyway. I also don't hangout a lot - I'm sure if you've been around for quite some time you already know that. I have no life, okay. YouTube and sleep is basically my life.

So long story short, I wasn't given much chances to show people my makeup in real life and that makes everything kinda tricky, because I need feedbacks to get better and my mom is pretty helpful but let's be real; she can points out things that don't look right on my face but she has no idea how to fix it. I'm sorry Mother, but we all know compared to you, I'm the expert on makeup.

ANYHOW.

With little to none chance available for me to show people my look and ask their opinions about it I'd rather just play around in my room and watching YouTube beauty videos and judge my look myself. And if you think being judged by other people is hard, you clearly have never been standing in front of a mirror and think, "Is my eyebrow on point or not?"

Because I'm constantly in a battle between Yes and No. And that is WAAAAAAAAYYYY harder than to decide where to eat (and I'm terrible at this so I know what I'm talking about).

So the question stays: To makeup or not to makeup?

I choose to makeup instead. At least hon, if my look scares you it'll be a pretty good time.